I am impatient about life. It gets worse each day. I cannot wait to be better; I cannot wait to own everything; I cannot wait to experience more of life.


MORE OF ME;
meDeviantART
meFACEBOOK
meBLOGGER
meFLICKR
meYouTUBE
meTwitter



   

<< November 2009 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
01 02 03 04 05 06 07
08 09 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30


SINCE APRIL 12 2006


WILL RESET EVERY APRIL!
Locations of visitors to this page









If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:


STALK THIS PLACE!
rss feed



Thursday, November 19, 2009
Today was so weird.

The minute I’m fucking pissed.

I got a lovely email. :)

And there you go, I’m a happy puppy.

 

The minute I’m fucking contented.

I got a pile of bullshit from some people whom I swear don’t fucking matters – which makes it even worse.

And there you go, I’m an active volcano, anticipating my next eruption.

 

I didn’t have the chance to be genuinely happy.

And I didn’t have the chance to be genuinely upset.

But like in most fairy tales, good wins evil.

 

So I am smiling writing this.

 

 



Monday, November 16, 2009
Europe Note #3

Idiosyncrasies – that I will never get.

 

Asking "Boleh?" after certain statements, that completely do not need any validation / agreement. It's even worse when I translate it into English.

"Today was a long day, I started work at 830am and now it's almost seven I am still in the office. OK?"

Like… whaaaaat to fricking OK about?

 

When people wink on occasion that suppose to make me feel better.

"Hey, you look so stress today. But don't be!" *wink

Wtf?

 

And some just find it amusing to mock fags' intonation, words, body language… it's even worse when the guys are doing it.

Whatever. Don't even let me start on this one.

 

//Shoving a handful of M&M's  into the mouth. HAPPY FOOD!! HAPPY FOOD!!

 

 

and that means, alot of things. Now that I remember the feeling, it's sad.

 

p.s. Ain, the handwriting will only gets worse. haha



Sunday, November 08, 2009
Europe Note #2

I watched the movie; This Is It today. And I think I was the only one that would wanna give a standing ovation after the movie.

Just by watching the rehearsal and the footage made me wanna scream out loud and cheering and clapping and jumping... grooving to the beat. Can't imagine what the full concert would do to me. Had to hold myself together to not to freak out and cried - haha Intan would know!

It's too inspiring. And it's too regretful that I didn't get to watch it, live.

He really is a legend. :)

 

A question that every now and then comes to me lately is "What's extraordinary / unusual about you?"

And sadly, I couldn't answer it. I couldn't even remember what kinda crap I pulled the last time I COULD answer it - which must be a long, long, long time ago. I end up skipping the question or just delete it.

What's so special about us? If you really think about it. We, simply, aren't.

I know how famous I am with my insecurities. But this is really not about the lack of confidence. People might be different from one another. But definitely not "more special" than one another. Which makes me on a constant drive to do something new, different and be bold about making a decision to do things that I wanna do. Things that I have been dreaming to do.

But I'm always back to square one; there are thousands if not millions of people out there who had most prolly done what I thought was different.

People are all the same. :)

 

Nope, I am not inspired to be a thief though.

The notes are getting more personal as the trip went on. I tried to find "publish-able" parts... that's when I noticed, I am a private person after all.

 

 



Friday, November 06, 2009
This is starting to scare me.

Earlier this evening, I have this one thought;

"I'd better go back home (and have a good rest, as tomorrow is gonna be another long day) rather than hanging out with him."

And I obey it.

Omg.

I can feel my social life is "fading", bit by bit.

This really freaks me out.

 

 

 

 

p.s. Careful with what you say (esp when you repeat it again and again and again), cause it will come true.



Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Europe Note #1

I missed being in a team, all sweaty and talking trash.

Aihh... the good old sweet days.  I was so used to being with a group of people, wherever, whenever. Even if I feel lost, I am lost with this bunch of good... comrades?

It was the loveliest feeling.

As I grew older, I think it happened almost naturally too, the comfort cushion, that usually protects me from any harm, or pain, thinning. Nowadays, I experience the blow, harder than usual. And harder each time too. It toughens me in some way, also breaks me in some way. This is when my dad would say, "That's Life."

Haha right.

People move on with their life, no doubt about it. Some choose not to. But secretly, they actually do, just that their heart is playing tricks on them. So they can be called human. :)

I have been trying to catch up with reality, almost three weeks now, and still struggling – with work, with relationships, with energy, with muscle aches, with confidence. Oh my, this time the blow is harder than usual! I hope it'll only get better!

(Thanks to dearest friends who NEVER think that I just talk alot of crap. Haha)

 

 

The first “culture shock” I got was not the weather. It was the food.



Sunday, October 11, 2009
It’s four days now since I’m back. And I manage to check almost all the items for my first 5 things I wanna do!

Two things I hate about the aftermath of a (good) long holiday are that I'd dread the snap-back-to-reality moment and to have to write post(s) about it. I really do. Haha

During the trip, I have this notebook which I scribbled on alot, especially when I am alone, pouring my heart in it. Although it's impossible to record everything in the book, but I think it has enough details about abit of everything during the trip. It keeps me company. So maybe one of these days I'd post snap shots of what I wrote here. It's gonna be ugly tho...

 

 I mean the handwriting.

 

 

 

 p.s. yes, yes, pictures and videos coming up on FB!



Next Page